<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML><HEAD><TITLE>Cast Iron Butterfly</TITLE> <META http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> <META content="MSHTML 6.00.2900.3059" name=GENERATOR> <STYLE type=text/css>BODY { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #9999ff } A { } A:link { } A:visited { } A:hover { } A:active { } H1 { } H2 { } H3 { } H4 { } H5 { } H6 { } </STYLE> </HEAD> <BODY> <P><FONT face=Verdana><STRONG>Do you need a coach?</STRONG></FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>Coaching is a proven approach for improving performance and results. We all know that professional athletes have coaches that give them pointer on how to improve their game, but who else uses coaches? </FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>Well, one instance that I have recent experience with is writing. As a writer I needed editing help because I had a mindset about my work.&nbsp; I had read my own words many times, and I had approached the work six times before I finally got it to the point where I was ready to publish. It was time for a professionals opinion.</FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>My editor wasn t bound by my history. She hadn t seen my work before. She brought a fresh eye and a new set of thoughts, and her perspective led to my last and final rewrite. She brought me to the realization that I had a conundrum, and solving that conundrum permanently improved the book.</FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>Life is kind of like that for everyone. We have written your lives, and maybe there are areas that could use some adjustments, but we are too close to our work to see it clearly.&nbsp; Perhaps we have ideas, actions and attitudes that don t work for us as well as they once did, but since we have been living that life one day a time we have lost sight of the plot and the big picture. That isn t a surprise. As Albert Einstein said,  We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. </FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>You don t need any coaching if every aspect of your life is working well for you. You can continue to use the same thoughts and attitudes that have always worked and they will continue to work the way they always have. However, if would like any area of your life to change, it might be time to get a coach on your team. </FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana><STRONG>How Can Coaching Help You?</STRONG></FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>I can only tell you how being coached has helped me. </FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>I needed coaches because life caused me trauma and the trauma had a long term consequence. That isn t surprising. We see that in nature all the time. </FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>We see one example when we look at the process of healing physical wounds. Sometimes as one recovers from torn tissue, scare tissue forms in the area where the tissue was originally torn. That isn t always such a big deal, but sometimes that scare tissue clings to the healthy tissue around the healed sight. Doctors call that an adhesion. </FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>The scare tissue adheres to the healthy surrounding tissue and causes stagnant areas which can no longer move freely. When one tries to move, they feel the pull of the adhesion and it causes stiffness, discomfort or even pain. That area of tissue in the body is stuck in the same position it was when the wounded first appeared. Because the discomfort gives a signal that moving may be causing damage, the person with the adhesion no longer moves in ways that stretch the adhesion. The person may not move that area of the body for a long time.</FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>That doesn t just happen in the body. It also happens in the mind and in the spirit. It happened to me psychologically, but eventually not being able to move in a particular area of my life got too restrictive. Not moving even got to be such a problem that it became impossible to stay stuck.</FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>In the case of the body, adhesions must be broken if we are to ever move freely again. That is not a very easy process. If you get post surgical adhesions the doctors sometimes have to reopen the surgical site so they can cut the adhesions away. Less severe cases can be broken up with deep tissue message, and most of the time that hurts a bit.</FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>The same is true for psychological wounds. We must break them up if we are ever going to move freely in our lives. Our natural instinct is to stay stuck because otherwise we are stretching out of our comfort zone. I needed the help of others to break down the adhesions that kept me stuck in life. I found that help in AA as you know, but I also had people I paid to help me. I had a psychologist, coaches and several different kinds of physical therapist. The huge traumas required surgery and I got that from AA and the psychologist. The little traumas like the day to day strikes on my psyche needed coaches. I had to find the adhesions in my heart, mind and body. Coaches helped me find those things that had me frozen in place. Coaches helped me redefine my relationships to my body, money, food, sex and fun. By applying new ideas and having support while I stretched those areas I had not moved for a long time, my adhesions broke apart and I was once again free to move in my life.</FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>If you need to understand yourself better or to redefine your relationships with any part of your life, then you may need the help of a coach. If your original wounds were similar to mine, I might be a good coach for you. </FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana><STRONG>How DO YOU CHOOSE THE RIGHT COACH FOR YOU AND WHAT IS LIFE COACHING?</STRONG></FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>As the originator of Coaching once told me, confidence can be arranged. </FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>Life coaching is about understanding ourselves in new ways with the help of an objective observer. Some individuals have very close trusted friends who do that for them. Others have parents who can be trusted, and they make great life coaches. We all need someone like that in our lives, and life doesn t always provide those people for us unless we make it happen for ourselves. If you are ready for one of the AA groups, you will find many individuals there who are willing and able to become that for you. But, if you just need a little help, finding a Life Coach could be your next step.</FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>The trick to finding a life coach is to look for a person who has achievements in life that suggest that their thoughts and ideas can help you get to your goals. Being coached is about having someone s help to think through the events of our lives so we can think about our actions and become clear on our motives. When we do that, we can begin to behave in more effective way. I am not talking about thinking through all the past events of our lives. I am talking about thinking through our lives today so we can understand what is getting in our way of moving freely and quickly to our chosen goal. I am talking about having a sounding board and feedback so we can approach our lives with the confidence that we have given it some thought, gotten some good advice and we are ready to take the next right step.</FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>Sometimes that takes us back to the past because we need to find the adhesions that have us stuck in our old ways and those are connected to old scares. Yet most of the time being coached allows us to do things differently in our present so we can create better outcomes.&nbsp; The whole point is to be freed from out past mistakes and past misfortunes so that we can be in the present and make our choices from what we know now.</FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>Coaches affirm for us that we are achieving our desired result. They give us the confidence to be able to move forward in our life to the destination of your own choosing, and they point out when our actions are moving us in the wrong direction so that we can make course correction even before we come close to hitting brick walls. </FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>Life Coaches often have a few shortcuts so their clients can more rapidly find their authentic selves. There are no magic bullets in life, but there are usually paths that that if taken will shorten the trip. </FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>Let me tell you a story.</FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>A friend of mine loves to play the trumpet and his son plays the saxophone. The boy wanted to learn the sax so the father got him a coach. That has gone very well. The father accompanies the son to his coaching sessions and plays the trumpet while the boy plays his sax. They have a great time. </FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana>Recently the boy s band director said he was going to move the boy to second chair because although he was a great player, he just didn t have the volume they needed. The boy took the problem to his coach and the coach pulled out a mouthpiece that the boy had never seen or heard of before. The mouth piece turned up the volume instantly. The boy didn t loose his first seat position.<BR>&nbsp;<BR>The solutions to life s problems are not always that easily found, but a coach can with your cooperation help you turn up the volume on your life. </FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Verdana><EM><A href="index.htm">Back to Ruby's home page</A></EM></FONT></P></BODY></HTML>